I came across a comment recently on my Twitter (now X) feed that got me thinking. It was a post about stay-at-home moms and someone commented, “We shouldn’t judge their decision to stay home. It’s their choice, after all.” While I do agree that it is none of my business to comment on the decision made by any mother, this simple statement got me pondering. Is it always a deliberate choice, unaffected by societal expectations and pressures? This idea stayed with me as I thought about how every time there is a discussion on any such topic, we tend to dismiss it as a choice without really looking at the situation from all angles. Instead of pitting mothers making different choices against each other, shouldn’t we focus on enabling an ecosystem in which every mother truly follows her heart?

At times, we do not realize how often societal norms disguise themselves as personal choices, whether it’s in career decisions or the subtle influences of traditional customs. I feel that the concept of choice has emerged as both a symbol of freedom and a web of contradictions. Choice feminism, with its emphasis on individual agency and the autonomy to forge personal choices, has found a place in the discourse over the years, but the question persists – does it truly liberate women in a society steeped in tradition and patriarchal norms? How does this concept translate into the diverse lived experiences of women spanning the many intersections of India?

On the surface, choice feminism appears empowering – a call to arms for women to carve their own paths, make decisions that resonate with their desires, and reclaim agency over their lives. Take the example of women leaders in corporates breaking barriers in career choices, challenging stereotypes at every step. Some women are even opting for unconventional careers, asserting their right to choose professional trajectories outside traditional gender roles.

However, this urban narrative can be misleading. Once we venture beyond the city limits, the landscape changes. Rural India, with its deeply entrenched patriarchal structures, often leaves women with a mere illusion of choice. Economic disparities and social pressures restrict options, rendering the notion of free choice a distant mirage. In villages where traditions reign supreme, women’s choices are often subjugated to familial expectations, perpetuating a cycle of constrained agency.

Even in the privileged sphere, consider the rhetoric of choice in the case of arranged marriages. While some women embrace arranged marriages as a personal preference, it is paramount to recognize that not all choices are made from an equitable standpoint. Traditional norms heavily influence familial decisions, leaving women with a limited array of options cleverly disguised as personal agency.

Moreover, the discourse on choice feminism in India often grapples with the intersectionality of caste and class. A woman’s ability to exercise choice is intricately linked with her social standing. The privilege of choice is not distributed evenly, with marginalized communities further bearing the brunt of systemic inequalities. This was glaringly obvious in the recent social media debate on period leave, during which I observed that not all women with privileges were comfortable to be posed with the question of whether they are willing to offer the same rights and comforts to their domestic workers, for instance.

In the political sphere, where women are gradually benefiting with better representation, choice feminism comes with its share of both triumphs and pitfalls. Women leaders breaking barriers in Indian politics showcase the power of choice in reshaping narratives. However, the patriarchal undercurrents within political structures also demand a closer look. Tokenism and gender-based discrimination still exist, revealing that the mere presence of women in politics does not guarantee the dismantling of oppressive systems.

The allure of individual agency should not blind us to the systemic barriers that are present in our society. True liberation demands dismantling patriarchal structures, addressing socio-economic disparities, and ensuring that the choices available are genuinely empowering. Choice feminism, in all honesty, is a nuanced amalgamation of empowerment and illusion. While some women wield their choices as a powerful instrument of liberation, others find themselves ensnared in a web of societal expectations. To champion true agency, we must disentangle the threads of tradition, class, and caste that interlace the fabric of choice for Indian women. The path to liberation requires not just the celebration of individual choices but a collective effort to dismantle the barriers that obstruct the road to true equality.

There is a necessity for sincere steps to be taken to bring about systemic as well as mindset changes to ensure a choice is truly an informed one stemming from awareness and aspirations of an individual. Else the lingering question will always nag us – is the choice, in reality, a lack of choice?